Question #61851

1 Answer
Nov 11, 2016

I made some changes to the English. The changes are shown in capital letters. You can compare it to your original. I have not added or changed any of your ideas.


Can you help me correct this essay ?

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, the pollutION OF THE environment is a big concern FOR the government and all of the people ON the earth. If a company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment, some people think that the company should support the artS. But others do not think so. However, I strongly BELIEVE that the company should use that money to protect the environment in order to prevent health problems, protect the future of our children and maintain the ecosystem.

Firstly, protectING the environment is preferable because it WILL HELP IN preventING health problems. If the environment becomes more and more contaminated, we will have to live with the POLLUTED air and the polluted water or polluted rivers. AS A RESULT, we will be able to get many dangerous diseases, INCLUDING cancer or some LUNG diseases. In addition, it can be a cause of many viruses, which can SHORTEN our life EXPECTANCY.

Secondly, protectING the environment is better because of the future of our children. The environment is BECOMING more and more polluted day by day, our children or THE next generations will become more and unhealthY and will not have the good place to live.

Finally, I think that providING that money to protect the environment is the right choice because it will maintain the ecosystem. There are many animals living on the earth, so if the environment is polluted, many animal species will not have a place to live. As a result, MANY animal species will be dying or will be listed in the red book.

In conclusion, I think tHAT givING that money to protect the environment is the correct CHOICE. I believe that because it prevents health problems, protectS the future of our next generations and maintainS the ecosystem.