Question #d73f6

1 Answer
Nov 24, 2016

It's okay, except for a bit of awkward wording.


"Released in the air" is an uncommon and rather awkward word choice. Also, one thing to note when writing--never add words merely because you think they sound "smarter" or "more descriptive"! Because more often than not, it won't sound better. :) When selecting a word, use the word that fits best and gives the connotation that you want, not the word that merely sounds better. Also, when you have "yelling and disappointment," one is actually audible, but you can't really hear disappointment. The two must agree. So perhaps a better sentence would be "A cacophony of anger and disappointment saturated the air." Here, both "anger" and "disappointment" are nontangible feelings expressed through the noise, and "saturated" adequately and vividly describes the situation.